Feeling inferior to others can be a passing sensation or a permanent condition. In either case, it is a situation that must be combated, since living with this constant feeling slows down the possibilities of personal growth.
Although it is something that happens to many people, it is usually a subject that is rarely talked about and less openly. This is because it is difficult to accept that you have this feeling of inferiority, which is why it is important to know what happens to us psychologically and how to solve it.
Why do I feel inferior?
The feeling of inferiority has various causes Understanding the possible origin gives us an accurate picture to be able to take action on the path to solving it. The first step is to recognize yourself in this situation and have the determination to want to change it.
A self-examination of conscience, a journey through our own history, an open and willing attitude, can help us find the answer to the feeling of feeling inferior to others, know what happens and how to solve it.
one. A past with traumatic experiences
The feeling of inferiority can go back to childhood Do a little analysis and remember if during childhood there was this feeling of being lower than the rest. It could have happened that in the family environment there was greater emphasis on defects or that there were many comparisons with siblings or children of the same age.
This could have diminished, from an early age, security and self-confidence, normalizing an attitude of continuous comparison with other people with the feeling of "never measuring up." An episode of bullying or some type of abuse, whether short or pronounced, could also have generated that feeling of insecurity.
2. Being in a stage of intense pressure
During an episode of high pressure, one's self-confidence may feel diminished Either due to physical and mental exhaustion or the Stress about achieving goals, being under a lot of pressure can make the person feel in a state of inferiority from which it is difficult for them to get out.
This is because the mind begins to exhaust itself and perceive everything with a certain negativity. However, it may have more to do with the fact that what we want to achieve requires all our effort, and the anguish of not being able to achieve it absorbs us.A promotion at work, a career exam, or being in competition with other people to get something are common examples of this negative environment.
3. Living in a toxic relationship
Spending a long time living in a toxic relationship leads to insecurities. Living closely and continuously with a person who hurts us begins to take its toll on our personality. It is common that, in this type of relationship, one or both of the people involved make continuous attacks highlighting the defects and mistakes in the other.
This can be aggressive and very obvious, or it can be with “disguised” comments, ie passive-aggressive. Comments like "don't be silly, you can't do something like that" or "don't try, it's clear you won't get it" generate a feeling of inferiority that ends up taking over whoever receives these comments continuously.
4. Negative environment and lack of recognition
There are environments in which it is not customary to celebrate achievements, and this affects its members A workplace where bosses meet governed by sanctions and little or no recognition can generate in its members a feeling of dissatisfaction and even inferiority. The same happens in family systems where there is so much rigidity that it is only demanded, but no achievement is rewarded or recognized.
After spending prolonged time in environments with these characteristics, people may begin to feel inferior to others. Above all, if there are members whose efforts are recognized and there is a real grievance with the affected person. Working for a raise, promotion or recognition and not achieving it after several attempts causes a feeling of inferiority that can become profound.
5. Extreme competition
Developing in situations of extreme competition has an impact on feeling inferior to the rest It may be that, given the loss of employment, the search for a new opportunity becomes difficult given the country's own economic situation. This makes it an extreme competition that often makes it difficult to find a job.
On the other hand, a sports or recreational environment can become a highly competitive environment where its members have forgotten that what is important is the journey and not the goal. This results in great pressure to achieve excellence, but at the same time it can generate feelings of inferiority by being continually exposed to criticism, competition and the possibility of not achieving the objective.
How can I stop feeling inferior to others?
It is possible to stop feeling inferior to others. There are tools and alternatives that can help us face situations that diminish our self-confidence and that lead us to feel inferior to the rest.
It is important to take action and find the strength to achieve it in various alternatives. It is not enough just to want to stop feeling that way. You have to get down to work to stop feeling inferior to others.
one. Leave the past behind
It is important to understand that what made us feel inferior is in the past If your family history or going back to your childhood made you understand that the origin of your insecurity is there, it is time to solve it and leave that feeling in the past. There are many alternatives to heal that history and prevent it from affecting you further.
It may be a good time to choose some type of psychological therapy that can help with this.The past must be left behind, although I may have defined what you are today, it is also true that what is important is what you do now with yourself and your situations. Therefore, erasing from your mind what was recorded at that moment will go a long way to remove that feeling that does not do justice to who you really are.
2. Awareness of perfection
Neither we nor anyone around us is perfect at all times or at all times When we feel inferior it is because we tend to lose perspective of things. Those who apparently do things better than us seem to be perfect. Or it also happens that we feel that what we do well we could do better and we feel dissatisfied.
While there are always opportunities for improvement, a he althy balance needs to be maintained at this point. You have to understand that we are not always going to be the best at what we like and what we do.You have to carry out and live these capacities, for the pleasure of doing them and not for the irrational need to achieve perfection. Making mistakes of all kinds is absolutely normal and we must accept that this makes us human.
3. View your strengths and weaknesses objectively
Making a list of our strengths and weaknesses helps us put things into perspective As long as we feel inferior to others, we surely it will be difficult to make a long list of virtues and we will find ourselves before an endless list of defects. However, this is a necessary exercise that requires objectivity beyond the emotion that dominates us at the moment.
As an objective we must consider being able to list the same number of virtues as defects. After this, we must continue until the qualities outweigh the defects. This will help us to have a perspective that we have a lot to offer but it is difficult for us to be aware of it because the feeling of inferiority is flooding us.We must continually remind ourselves of those virtues, and hold them in good esteem.
4. Identify the people or environments that harm you
Sometimes, we don't realize that those around us hurt us As mentioned above, it can be our environment or people with whom we live, who may be reinforcing our feeling of inferiority without us realizing it. That is why it is so important to identify if there is an external source that is leading us to this sensation.
Once you have identified this, it is time to strengthen yourself and act to prevent this from further diminishing your security. You can get several strategies. Either you distance yourself physically as much as possible or you strengthen yourself emotionally to face people and situations without being hurt and with diminished insecurity.
5. Leave the comparisons
One of the things that most damages self-esteem are comparisons. Although it seems like a very natural behavior in the human being, it is something that we can and should do without. From a very young age we are exposed to comparisons, and this is something that marks our behavior and our being.
This is why we should stop doing it. To achieve this, we must understand that our strengths and weaknesses make us unique beings, and that we all have fears and anxieties, dreams and desires, and that makes comparisons impossible or establish who are better or worse, so there is no point in continuing to do so, as it ends up harming us.