We would like to be able to affirm that all human beings, to a greater or lesser extent, are in our own search for love, wanting to find our partner and fall in love. But this is not entirely true, because there are people who are afraid of nothing more and nothing less than love
Philophobia exists and it is just that, the fear of falling in love. People who suffer from it can feel all the symptoms that any phobia can cause us, but when they feel that they are finding love. We'll tell you!
What is philophobia
As it sounds, philophobia is the intense and irrational fear of falling in love and creating bonds or emotional bonds with another person. In this sense, it would be easy to say that we all suffer from philophobia to some degree, since falling in love puts us in a vulnerable situation that we can be afraid of and from which we can flee if we do not feel prepared for love. But this has more to do with our degree of emotional maturity and the way we experience our feelings.
With philophobia it is different, because those who suffer from it feel all the symptoms that a phobia brings with it when being exposed or linked to a love situationPhobias generate in us such an intense fear or fear that, when we find ourselves facing what scares us so much, we start all our defense mechanisms; whether it is a phobia of spiders, airplanes or love as in philophobia, our being reacts in defense of what we fear so much.
This is why falling in love can be for some the most wonderful and joyful experience we can have, but for people with philophobia the experience is totally the opposite, a terrible feeling of discomfort, anxiety and emotional and physical stress
To such an extent that philophobia can have a very high impact on the social life of people who suffer from it and on their emotional system, since when it reaches its highest levels, People with philophobia not only avoid loving relationships, but also ties with their family and friends.
Symptoms of people with philophobia
By fearing falling in love and being romantically linked with someone else, the symptoms of people with philophobia have to do with putting up a barrier that separate from others. In this sense, people with philophobia speak very little about themselves to avoid involvement, they try not to show themselves as they really are, they live short relationships without commitment and in some cases, they maintain relationships with several people and at the same time with none.Their emotions go up and down, like a roller coaster.
The symptoms of people with philophobia also present physically, as with other phobias, and usually occur when they are in front of a person they are physically and emotionally attracted to, as well as when relationships try to move to a higher level of commitment. In these cases, intense sweating, changes in breathing and heartbeat, shortness of breath, gastrointestinal disorders and the common symptoms of a panic attack added to an intense desire to flee from that situation may appear.
As contradictory as it may sound, what happens with people with philophobia is that, despite their fear of falling in love, they cannot 100% avoid contact with other people nor can they avoid at the same time fell in love. When this happens, your fear is that your partner will leave you; hence their fear of falling in love and the barrier they put up in front of others.
This is why part of the defense mechanisms is to walk away when they feel that the relationship is heading in a more serious direction, provoke disputes so that the other person ends the relationship and look for an endless number of defects in the other person to justify the impediment they have to go further in their feelings.
How to overcome philophobia
Philophobia can be overcome, but it completely depends on you, as a person with philophobia, doing your best to overcome it, Well, it is a job of your emotional and nervous system that no one can work for you, especially if they guide you on your way to do it. Start by seeking help, because you can overcome philophobia and live fully something as beautiful as falling in love.
There are different methods of psychological accompaniment with which philophobia can be treatedAffective desensitization therapy is one of them and is the one used with different types of phobias. With this type of phobia, your therapist exposes you in a real or virtual way to what you fear, in this case falling in love, until you become desensitized.
You can also opt for cognitive therapy in which your therapist will guide you so that you can recognize and understand the mental process you are doing to feel that fear.
There are also other methods such as Neurolinguistic Programming and other more holistic means to help you put an end to philophobia once and for all .
The important thing is that you ask for help, because any type of phobia and even more so with philophobia, you have ties that do not allow you to live freely and fully happily. Thousands of people have already recovered from philophobia, so don't be afraid to stand up to it.